~sweet escape~

What to say? Thank You God for letting me alive until this day. For giving the best life I could ask for. Maybe enough is enough. I have to slow down the tone. Let my body rest well.  Let my mind have an inner peace. In this very day, I do wish that I still have time with my hubby and my girls. Maybe sometimes the idea of being death crossed my mind, maybe sometimes I just wanna left the world, but I also can not stand the idea of losing them. If that thought ever coming again, I will look at my girls' picture. I wanna be better. I wanna be with them until my time is up. So..be happy, dear self. 34 years old is still young. Maybe my face and my pace tells otherwise, but bet my self can do anything that I always dream of. What to eat today? Go find tiramisu cake and just treat yourself well, Nuria. Happy birthday.

One day before my birthday. Nothing to be celebrated about, just a regular day I think. My hubby is not coming home, and I do have an amount of works to be done. Maybe we will have a family dinner while praying for my daddy, like we always do on Thursday's night. So..it is like my usual activities after all. But, I know..that I am getting old. By tomorrow, I am gonna be 34 years old. Trying to stand still, wishing my self to be healthy everyday, through ups and downs in life, I wish that I can face it all. I wanna be content. I don't wanna force things cause it is exhausted. And frankly.. I just wanna a peace day. If I could make a wish for my self, I just wanna be presence for my family and my friends. Maybe I don't have a great achievement yet, but as long as I still have them in my life, I know that life is still good. I got you, dear self. You will be okay.

Rindu yang paling ga enak adalah rindu yang tidak tersampaikan. Cuma bisa dipendam dalam-dalam. Cuma bisa dibayangkan dalam khayal. Rindu yang paling ga enak adalah rindu masa-masa yang ga bisa diulang. Cuma bisa diingat lekat-lekat. Cuma bisa didekap dalam hati. Rindu yang paling ga enak adalah rindu yang tak berbalas. Cuma bisa dirasa dalam diam. Cuma bisa dirasa dalam sepi. Rindu yang paling ga enak adalah merindukan punya orang lain. Berbalas atau tidak, rasanya tetap salah. Cukuplah jadi memori saja. Karna kita tau, rindunya ga akan mungkin didapatkan. ###

Bulan favoritku sepanjang tahun dengan alasan yang super sepele: ini bulan ulang tahunku. 😌 Dulu waktu jaman kuliah juga bulan ini menyenangkan karna tanggal jadian aku dan bg Andri juga di bulan Juli. Jaman masih kuliah.. boro2 dapat kado dobel, bg Andri ingat aja dah hebat. Hahahhahahhaa.  Menuju 34 tahun. Rasanya hidup begitu2 aja. Mukaku bertambah tua, di umur segini malah sering break out semuka2. Padahal dulu jerawatan di pipi aja jarang, sekarang malah banyak. Badan makin ringkih aja, ga ada seger2nya. Cita-cita mau kayak Sophia Latjuba, yg di umur 51 masih bedelau, tapi tiap hari makan ga sehat, begadang dan ga pernah olahraga. Gimana caranya ngumpulin niat? Pengennya semakin nambah umur, aku juga makin bugar dan sehat. Biar bisa sama anak2 aku sampe aku tua. Biar tetap keliatan bestie. Kayaknya harus diniatkan serius ya. Start bulan ini aku harus:  - Mengurangi makan yg ga sehat dan manis2 - Jangan kebanyakan nongki - Coba olahraga kecil2an di rumah - Perbanyak ibadah. Sholat