~sweet escape~

Don't you wish you have one day off just for your self? Pampering self by doing nothing. Just lying in bed playing phone, reading favourite books or watching movies. Ordering good foods or even ice cream. Sleeping at any time you want. All alone and peacefully. Just one day. My selfish self need it. Need a break from a same tiring day. But I am a mother. My kids need me. I am also a daughter. My parents need me. Though my hubby is far away, I am still a wife. My hubby needs me. Don't you wish a day off just for your self? I do.

17 Agustus 2020 Selamat hari kemerdekaan Indonesiaku. Lahir di Indonesia, tepatnya di Pekanbaru, tentu saja akan memilih mati di Indonesia juga. Di usia kemerdekaan yang sudah 75 tahun, tentu aku berharapnya negara ini akan semakin maju ke depannya. Maju negaranya, maju juga warga negaranya. Biar kita ga cuman dianggap negara +62 yang berflower. Alias negara berkembang 😂 Aku mungkin tak terlalu paham sejarah. Aku mungkin juga ga menggebu2 bilang NKRI harga mati. Aku suka kesal dengan kebijakan2 yang ada. Aku cuma warga negara yang biasa saja. Tapi tetap saja aku sayang negaraku. Banyak banget tempat yang belum aku datangi. Banyak banget budaya, kuliner, sejarah, adat yang aku ga ketahui. Semoga suatu saat nanti diberi kelapangan rejeki dan usia, sehingga bisa menyusuri seluruh Indonesia Raya ini. Pandemi corona cepatlah berlalu. Semua orang udah rindu beraktivitas normal tanpa masker dan tanpa parno melulu.

I just miss my hubby. It is normal right? I know we have been through the first year separated, and there are more years to overcome, but for now I just miss him. I miss talking directly to him. I miss our pillow talk. I miss his hug. I miss his bad habits. I miss our internal jokes. I miss everything. Didn't mean to be a grumpy wifey lately.. I just hate the idea that he is not around. Be patient. Oh believe me I know. I said I miss my hubby. That's all.

Hari ini ikut ngerasa gloomy. Berita duka cita memang semenyesakkan itu. Apalagi ini dokter paru garda terdepan melawan Covid-19. Banyak pasien yang diusahakannya sembuh, tapi dia sendiri akhirnya 'kalah'. Surga untukmu ya,dok.. Dan untuk semua tenaga medis lainnya yang udah mendahului kita. Mereka bukan sekedar angka. They are human being, who have family, relatives, and friends. Must be hard losing someone you love. Maybe I am never be ready. I can not imagine how life would be without my hubby. Maybe the sadness of losing him will eat me alive. How I supposed to answer my kids, if they ask," Papa mana, ma?" Kadang yaa.. Saking takutnya ngerasa kehilangan, aku suka berdoa semoga aku yang 'dipanggil' lebih dulu. Karena aku ga siap ditinggal. Tapi aku ingat kalau rencana Allah pasti yang terbaik buat umat-Nya. We just have to believe it. Semoga yang sedang ditimpa musibah, atau sedang merasa kehilangan, diberikan Allah kelapangan hati yang selua