~sweet escape~

Kalau dipikir2, si Nuria ini hobi banget sotoy. Suka nyeletuk duluan tanpa mikir. Suka ngide aja gitu berasa paling tau tapi salah. Gampang kepancing ini itu. Dan suka sok asik. Jangan gitu lagi ah. Ga enak tau jadi orang sotoy. Mending banyakan diam, tapi dalam hati puas ngatain. Dari pada udah ngomong, tapi ternyata salah. Intinya sih, pandai menempatkan diri aja. Kapan harus kasih pendapat dan kapan harus diam mendengarkan. Gapapa banget untuk ga selalu terlibat. Gapapa banget kalau kita ga terlihat. Jangan jadi orang sok asik. Asiknya hilang, jatohnya jadi sok doang. Dan udahlah Nuria.. Jangan kebanyakan overthinking juga. Capek sendiri ujung2nya. Jadi diri sendiri aja kayak yang dulu2 ya. Lebih bikin happy. Ya kan??

We used to celebrate this day because it is my dad's birthday and also my parents anniversarry. How are you Up there, daddy? We continue living the life, but it would be nice if you still around. But we can not turn back the time. No regret, though. You are not sick anymore. That is what matters. Mommy is doing fine. She is currently working again, meeting with people and seems happy. But, If we could, we like to trade everything to still have you beside us. Happy birthday, papa. And happy anniv too. You might be apart now, but I do pray that you and mommy will be together again in Jannah.

I am afraid.. Of losing control. Over my mind and my heart. I am afraid.. Of going too much. Over things that could be headed the wrong way. I am afraid.. To be so wrong. Thought that everything is okay, but sadly is not. Frankly, I am afraid all the time. Because I am not being my self. And I let it to be.